The Lady's Brunch Burger Award

I have to thank Paula Deen for being so deviously brilliant with her Lady's Brunch Burger recipe. She knew exactly what she was doing when she invented it. She knew exactly what kind of person would and should be eating her non-delicious, non-nutritious, 1200-calorie Lady's Brunch Burger. Well, Paula, in your wicked name, I am passing along your vision.

Today's recipient!

The award goes to a famous lesbian. Why would The Lady's Brunch Burger Award go to one of our own? Let's see: For appearing on national television arguing, effectively, against gay marriage by saying that she's not all that "fired-up" about the word "marriage" and maybe she'll be "kicking herself later." For writing, on her blog www.hollywoodfarmgirl.blogspot.com:

"i don't care what word they want to keep precious to themselves... 'marriage'... that's okay... it doesn't take away how well they love me, or how often we've laughed together, or how deeply we've grieved together... my family's behavior speaks to me louder than any ink dot on a ballet [sic]."

gimme the same rights, the same taxations, all that stuff. and you can have your fistful of letters that form an english language word. it's not going to matter in 10 years. moot."

For forcing Oprah to step in and correct her to tell her that it IS about the word "marriage." And for making her wife sit up nervously and tell the nation that she doesn't really mean it. For all these reasons and more, today's Lady's Brunch Burger Award goes to . . .


Tammy Lynn Michaels! The wife of Melissa Etheridge. Yes, this lovely lesbian, Tammy Lynn, stabbed every single gay person directly and precisely in the back with her foul words. How many right-wingers are going to use her words against us? And, who, for God's sake, who appointed her one of our spokespeople?! She went on Oprah and said the word "marriage" didn't matter! Et tu, Tammy Lynn?

Tammy Lynn, you beat out Bill O'Reilly for today's Lady's Brunch Burger Award. The only question left is: How hungry are you?

That's right, Tammy, you are looking famished! Eat up!